But this week, I was not fearless. Or any of those beautiful things. No, not even close.

This week, there were a number of times that I wanted to hang my head, hide my face, and avert my eyes, to fade into the background and disappear. Too many instances in which I was forced to hold my tongue and nod, despite my better intuitions. Trapped by my fear of humiliation, failure, and disappointment, of not being accepted or well-liked. Rational fears, all of them. So I played it safe.  

But everything I was afraid of, every imagined worst-case scenario, played out anyway. The world doesn't take pity. But if it did, how would we ever learn to fight back?

Fear is a powerful emotion. It can stop us dead in our tracks, cause us to tremble uncontrollably, make the mind go blank. At best, fear can be motivating; at worst, crippling. And it's one of the most difficult things to overcome. But I truly believe that we all have it in us to do so. Not to rid ourselves of fear completely, of course, but to defy, conquer, and take control of that specific part of ourselves. The part that is human and weak, that threatens to take away our freedom.  

They say that in order to be courageous, one must embrace fear and use it for good. Do whatever it is that scares you the most. Jump out of an airplane, ask a stranger to dance, speak your mind. Even if you're trembling the whole way through. Chances are, you will survive. And you'll be better because of it.

But regardless of whether we are able to do these things, to take the risks and embody fearlessness, I believe that there is beauty in the everyday striving. The trying and the failing. The trembling and the tears. Because without the tough times to remind us of the dark mountains we've had to climb, the glorious moment that we're constantly working towards—the moment that we finally rise above it all—would never see the light of day.

Photo by Semina Psichogiopoulou.

For all new visitors of my blog: from January 31st through March 31st, I chose to consciously refrain from eating a multitude of processed foods in order to avoid large amounts of the pesky additive that scientists are now calling "toxic." While I'm super glad that I participated in this sugar-free experiment, I ultimately decided a couple of weeks ago that this brief period of eliminating sugar from my diet had met it's end... And of course, I can't help but throw in a concluding blog post to explain my thought process behind this decision. So, here we go.

First off, what I gained from living sans sugar:

1.) A better understanding of how addicting sweets really are.

2.) Clearer skin & a flatter stomach.

3.) The motivation to start training for a 5K.

4.) A greater awareness of the harmful ingredients in processed foods.

5.) Wicked self-control.

6.) More energy & everyday stamina.

7.) A deeper love for oatmeal & greek yogurt.

8.) The discovery of many healthful dessert recipes.

9.) A desire to learn more about the causes of heart disease, and what I can do to prevent it.

10.) Newfound confidence in my ability to eat sweets in moderation, and a conscious choice to do so from now on.

Reasons why the (completely) sugar-free lifestyle is not for me:

1.) It's stressful. Sugar is everywhere, if you haven't noticed.

2.) Having to explain to friends (and fellow dessert lovers) why I can't share a cup of fro-yo with them after dinner or try their homemade cupcakes gets annoying after a while (and just makes me feel like a health snob).

3.) As do the post-explanation remarks of disapproval, such as "Oh, live a little!" and "A bite isn't going to kill you!" Even worse is knowing that others feel guilty or self-conscious about eating sugary snacks in front of me.

4.) It's true what they say: restricting anything from your diet eventually does make you want it even more than you did before.

5.) But most of all, I miss the experiences that I've associated with my favorite foods. For example, there's something sentimental about conversing with my parents over a blizzard from Dairy Queen. (Reese's for Mom, Chocolate Extreme for Dad, and the Blizzard of the Month for me.) Or baking and devouring one giant "blob" cookie with Marissa and Kristen at 3:00 in the morning during the summer months. Or spending a fortune on a box of Buncha Crunch and a White Cherry Icee at the movie theater, because even after so many years, this perfect combination never gets old. There's nothing like a Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks on a dreary day or a Pizookie from BJ's during a birthday celebration, made half chocolate chunk and half oatmeal raisin to accommodate everyone's tastes. As lame as it sounds, these are the things that I never want to force myself to give up completely. Nor would I want to miss out on any future delicious rituals that might contribute to my overall enjoyment of life. Because in all honesty, some things are simply worth it.