/ with candor

Reflecting on 2012.

Two thousand twelve was brilliant and exciting, and by far one of the most rewarding years of my life. In no particular order: I turned 21 and completed my 5th semester of college. I studied abroad in Oxford, traversed the English countryside, explored London's most popular attractions, ate my way through Paris, and toured the underground vaults of Edinburgh. I visited my older brother in Tennessee and spent a blissful week in Gulf Shores with my family.

I wrote a few articles for the January edition of Weddings In Houston Magazine, nannied part-time for two adorable little girls, and was hired to assist the owner of a social media management company. I renovated my blog (with help from this lovely artist) and changed the name to something more fitting. I cut sugar out of my diet for two whole months and then happily indulged in sweets every day for the five weeks that I was in Europe. I discovered the wonders of Pilates and went on a 10-mile religious pilgrimage through Austin. I made my Covenant of Love.

I re-familiarized myself with old fairytales and fell head-over-heels for a pair of vampire brothers. I stayed overnight in one of America's most haunted locations, threw a Halloween party at my apartment, and received an unexpected visit or two from my cousin. I saw Titanic in theaters for the second time in my life and added several movies (including The Hunger Games, Lincoln, and Les Miserables) to my list of favorites. I gained a new appreciation for Jane Austen and her literary masterpieces.

I gave away a piece of my heart and had it handed back to me without fair warning. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise, however, and I grew stronger because of it. I went to a kite festival, witnessed the passing of the Olympic Torch, and dyed my hair a pretty awful shade of blonde. (Oops!) I made a record number of new friends and cherished the time I spent with the old. I survived the predicted end of time and lived to celebrate yet another joyful Christmas.

Needless to say, this year's been pretty great.

Bucket List #23: Check into a haunted hotel.

My cousin used to tell me ghost stories of an antebellum plantation home in Louisiana that dates back to the late 1700s. The Myrtles Plantation's dark history is one of murder and mystery, and although it is now a charming bed and breakfast, the famous site has made a name for itself as one of the most haunted houses in the United States.

I loved listening to all of the spooky tales when I was a kid, but I never imagined that I would ever actually spend a night at the infamous abode. On the day after Christmas, however, my brothers and I packed our bags and headed out to the-middle-of-nowhere St. Francisville in search for adventure. We arrived after dark and decided to explore the creepy grounds as soon as we put our stuff in our huge Victorian suite. Excited and alert, I was sure we would spot a ghost or experience a supernatural encounter in no time at all. But it was freezing outside, and we soon returned to our room without any such luck.

The rest of the evening was spent playing games and watching Netflix, drinking wine in paper cups and listening for mysterious footsteps, door slams, or childish laughter. Unfortunately, our efforts were thwarted by a noisy bunch who hung around for hours outside our door, making it impossible for us to hear anything but their loud voices. We fell asleep a little after midnight and awoke the next morning in time for a homemade breakfast of biscuits and eggs, followed by a tour of the plantation. Even though our stay didn't exactly produce the ghost adventure I was hoping for, the time I spent with my brothers was well worth the trip.

life lately

Life update.

Austintatious college

A look into the life of Ross Bennett.

For my final journalism assignment of the semester, I had the great pleasure of photographing local fashion designer Ross Bennett. The talented artist studied fashion at the University of Texas, founded The Ross Bennett Collection in 2008 with the help of his wife, Erin, and appeared as a contestant on NBC's first season of Fashion Star. Ross was kind enough to let me shadow him while he worked on the Grid Girls outfits for Austin's Formula One Race in November. Seeing some of his gorgeous designs and listening to the stories of his first few years in the industry was what made this project so enjoyable for me. The whole experience was a real treat!

things of note

Richard Avedon's celebrity portraits.

I can't stop obsessing over Richard Avedon's work. His portraits are stunningly raw and full of emotion, exactly what portraits should be. Talk about an inspiration overload.

family pay no attention

ABC, easy as 1-2-3.

Age: 21, youngest of three.

Bedsize: twin. (The only downside to sharing a room with your best friend.)

Chores that you hate: laundry or vacuuming.

Dogs: way better than cats.

Essential start to your day: steaming coffee & a hearty breakfast.

Favorite color(s): pale pink, mint green, dark purple, any shade of grey. (...It's not what you're thinking.)

Gold or silver: silver.

Height: short.

Instruments: I love the sounds of the violin & piano, but I'd like to learn to play the guitar.

Job title: student (at the moment). In the future, however, I hope it changes to book editor or photojournalist.

Kids: psh, I still am one.

Live: freely.

Mother’s name: Karen Louise.

Nickname (favorite): my mom sometimes calls me different versions of Lulabelle & Lucille. Random, I know. But I like it.

Overnight hospital stays: when I was born, maybe? I've been lucky.

Pet peeves: when someone repeatedly tries to talk to me while I'm working/studying/being productive... I'm not a multitasker.

Quote (from a movie): "You can't ask me to battle nature in my own heart."

Right or left: right.

Siblings: Lance & Jason.

Time you wake up: early.

Underwear: a necessity.

Vegetable you hate: green beans aren't my favorite.

What makes you run late: procrastination. This blog post, for example.

X-Rays you’ve had: ankle, wrist, teeth.

Yummy food you make: vegetarian shepherd's pie.

Zoo animal: penguins, tigers, giraffes. Oh my.

Random photo of my mom and me during the summer of 2004.

faith family musings

Simply put.

I've always been a worrier. One of those people who has to plan, analyze, and dwell on almost everything. If it's a disease, it must be hereditary... My mother is the same way. Except not completely, because her worry yields productivity almost 100% of the time. She's a superhero, that woman, always worrying more for the sake of others than for herself.

But my latest worry has been very personal, an everlasting uncertainty of who I am and why I'm here. Surely, I'm not the only one with a little nagging voice inside my head. Everyday, it asks the same question: Are you really the person you want to be? (Cue Switchfoot.)

A few months ago, during a car-ride home from Louisiana, I spoke openly with my dad about this inner struggle of mine. I told him that I sometimes feel as if I'm not living up to the woman that God created me to be, as if I'm just not good enough. I won't go into the specifics of why I felt this way, because it really isn't all that important. The point of this story lies in what my father had to say.

We all have the desire to be extraordinary. To be the holiest person or the best looking or the most intelligent; perhaps a combination of all three. But for a lot of us, that's just not realistic. Some spend their entire lives searching for the one thing that they're amazing at and passionate about, only to realize too late that it doesn't exist. At least, not in the way that they imagined it. But that's alright, because it's not our talents and gifts that make us who we are. We are defined by something else entirely, and to that I say thank God.

We are defined by love, and not just any love. His love is what gives our lives purpose and meaning. The rest is icing on the cake: good, until there's no more cake. (I can't believe I'm comparing God's love to dessert. But you get the gist, right?) Don't get me wrong... Our accomplishments and contributions are so very important in making the world go round. Hard work helps us appreciate all that we have, and our daily strivings are the key to character-building. But at the end of the day, our lives matter because He loves us. End of story.

After thinking about my dad's response for a few minutes, I turned to him again, not altogether satisfied. "But what if I can't help wanting to be more for God? How can I make Him proud if I don't even know what I'm good at?" My father looked at me, and I saw the wheels turning in his head, as if he'd once asked himself the same question. Just as I was about to give up on receiving a response and enter back into my own thoughts, he said something that stuck with me.

"I think you just have to strive to be the best possible version of yourself in all that you do. But more than anything, if you want to be extraordinary, learn to love extraordinarily. In His eyes, that's what counts."

Sometimes, the answer we're seeking is as simple as that.