So long, college.
I'm done, y'all! And it feels so good. Surreal, even. But now it's back to Houston for this girl, to make/save a little money... At least until I figure out exactly what my next step is. And while I hate to leave Austin, I have a feeling I'll be back sooner than I thought.
The ramblings of an almost college graduate.
Photo taken on Halloween, while laughing at something Kristen said at Kerbey Lane (which pretty much sums up my college experience).
Year after year...
No matter how busy October can get, I find myself enthralled by All Hallows' Eve. Not by the costumes or the parties, necessarily, but just by the feel of the whole Halloween season. The myths and the legends and the scary stories. The decorations, the weather (usually a delightful combination of cool and windy), and the festive recipes (pumpkin soup, anyone?). And of course, who can forget the classic TV movies—like Hocus Pocus, Beetlejuice, and The Addams Family—that frequent ABC Family this time of year? It's all a hoot, if you ask me.
Even if you're not going to be dressing up or attending a costume party to celebrate, get into the spirit of Samhain some way or another. Read a chilling short story by Edgar Allan Poe: The Raven is a good pick. Go for a late-night walk with a friend and stop at a nearby coffee shop; if you're feeling adventurous, indulge in Starbucks' Caramel Apple Spice (or another delectable fall treat of your choosing). Sit on your front porch and give out candy to trick-or-treaters. Or, perhaps, stay in with a glass of wine and watch the newest episode of Supernatural. Do yourself a favor and relax this 31st. That's what holidays are for, after all.
The in-between.
October has almost come and gone without so much as a word from me; sadly, August and September were much the same. This semester is very different from the rest, and as my last few backpack-wearing, textbook-buying, essay-writing months start winding down, I expect the busy-ness of my life to only intensify. Normally, the more I'm doing/thinking/feeling, the more I blog. Not this time. This time, the doing and thinking and feeling is all too much. There's no room to muster up a bit of extra creativity for creativity's sake.
But somehow, in the eye of the storm, I manage to come back—if only for the sake of my sanity—to empty my head of its collected thoughts. Whether they'll make much sense down on "paper," well, there's really no telling. Bear with me now.
This fall, I've come to realize things about myself that were hard to swallow. My greatest weaknesses, fears, and shortcomings have all been blindingly apparent as of late, and it's in the quiet moments like these (which tend to be few and far between) that they rest most heavily upon my shoulders. Every silent prayer is another apology for some small failure within my day; every last thought seems to bring about questions of how I can do better next time. But each morning, I get up and start again. With a smile on my face and a spring in my step. Because the thing is, little by little, I'm learning what it means to be strong. To own up to my mistakes and accept defeat when it comes. To trust my instincts and stick to my decisions. To have faith in myself, even when those decisions lead to a dead end. That's what growing up is all about, no?
These are the days, exhausting and exhilarating, that I'll look back on and miss. I'll remember the grueling schedule, the utter uncertainty, and the helpless lack of control. The constant daydreams of traveling abroad, the 3am bedside chats with my longtime roommate, the small pile of Verily magazines on the coffee table, and the beginning of a beautiful and unexpected journey alongside someone special. All en route to grander visions, all completely worth fighting for.
When I think about this short 'I-don't-know' phase of my life, I'll remember the potential it had. Of a life brand new with possibilities, and a wondrous future waiting to unfold.
Photo by Aaron Burden.
Texas Bucket List.
Six months from now, I may not have an Austin address. In fact, I'm not really planning on it. My list of cities to explore after college are situated far beyond the Lone Star State, from the bustling streets of New York to the foggy skies of London...and perhaps a few places scattered in between. God only knows what January will bring, but I'm desperately trying to soak up all that Texas has to offer in the meantime, just in case I wake up one morning and find myself thousands of miles away.
That's where this incredible bucket list comes in. Pieced together by Texas Monthly writers and editors in 2010, the list consists of sixty-three must-see-and-do things in the great state of Texas, and includes (but is not limited to) stargazing parties, old graveyard tours, high school football games, BBQ dinners, a Willie Nelson concert, and learning the country two-step. How. Brilliant. Is. That. I've already printed it out and posted it to my fridge for easy access.
I don't expect to complete even a small fraction of these things before I graduate, but I'm sure going to try. Plus, having this list hanging over my head (as well as a certain someone who's willing to tackle it with me) will be yet another incentive to return after my adventures elsewhere... Texas is my home, after all. As much as I dream of seeing the world, my heart will always lead me back to these pink and orange sunsets.
A solemn passion.
I have for the first time found what I can truly love—I have found you. You are my sympathy—my better self—my good angel—I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wraps my existence about you—and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one. | Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre
In the details.
Canyon Lake. A house full of Aggies. Warm smiles and welcoming words. Bright pink sunsets. Frozen strawberry margaritas. Sparklers galore. Cakes of red, white, and blue. Floating the Guadalupe. Old river whiskey. Endless conversation. Brutal sunburns. Burgers at The Gristmill. Midnight debates. Morning coffee on the back porch. Cowboy hats and colorful bikinis. A pontoon boat. Perfect summer weather. Brother-sister bonding. Tortilla chips and spinach artichoke dip. Kayaking for leisure's sake. Shared stories of past and present. An outpouring of love for the great state of Texas. Cliff jumping, accompanied by nervous energy and the occasional curse word. Loud music and ice chests full of Shiner Bock. An unfortunate case of swimmer's ear. Refreshingly cold showers. Naps before dinner. A feast made for kings. Unconventional drinking games and continuous howls of laughter. One special birthday. The celebration of Mass. Bittersweet goodbyes. A weekend's worth of memories to look back on, and fifteen new friendships to look forward to.
Hands down, the best 4th of July ever.
Photos courtesy of the #Fourthapolooza crew.
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