In transition.
My third year of college has officially come to an end. It's startling, really, to think about the last three years and how quickly they happened. My first day in Austin feels like yesterday. Every once in a while, I forget that I'm not 18 years old anymore. Does life ever slow down again, or is this how it's going to be from now on? Days turn into years much faster now than they did when I was younger.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. This post is not supposed to be about my incurable nostalgia in regards to my college career. It's more like a little life update, since I've practically been MIA for the past few weeks. But finals are history, and my summer begins tomorrow! To mark the start of the season, my family is reuniting in Gulf Shores, Alabama—once again—for a glorious week of R&R. Of course, words cannot describe how excited I am to spend some quality time with these guys. And bonus: all three of my soul siblings will be tagging along for the ride. (This almost never happens.) God only knows how much I've been anticipating this much-needed escape from real life. Let's just say, I'm praying that the clock will somehow find a way to stop while we're there.
If that doesn't happen, however, I'll be ready to hit the ground running when I return. With two social media marketing jobs and one journalism course to keep me busy, I'm thinking there's not going to be any time for laziness come June. Which is fine by me. I'm kind of considered an 'adult' now, right? And adults can't afford to waste their precious time.
Photo by Vicko Mozara.
A nagging truth.
Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are. | Markus Zusak, I am the Messenger
I recently watched Penelope, a film about a cursed girl who is born with the nose of a pig. By the hand of her aristocratic mother, she hides herself away from society for twenty-odd years, ashamed of what people will think of her unusual appearance. But then a young man—with plenty issues of his own—enters her life unexpectedly, and it isn't long before he begins to recognize and appreciate her unique beauty like no one else ever has. The quote by Zusak, although otherwise unrelated, sums up the heartwarming movie perfectly. And both have sent the wheels in my head spinning.
◊ ◊ ◊
"You don't think you're beautiful," he said to me, almost in the form of a question. The change in conversation caught me by surprise. No, I suppose I don't. But it made me wonder, is 'beautiful' the first adjective that comes to any girl's mind when she sees her reflection in a mirror or her image in a photograph? Maybe for a select few. But for most of us, I'm guessing, acceptance is key. I accept myself for who I am, beautiful or not. Some days, even this is a struggle.
Perhaps that's our curse: the tendency to settle on the acceptance of our flaws rather than the recognition of our beauty. What will it take for us to realize that our flaws are part of what make us beautiful? And even more, that there is beauty in who we are, regardless of the color of our eyes or the curves of our face?
As true as these statements are, it's much easier to say out loud than to believe in our hearts. It sits there on the surface, like a nagging parent's reminder: determined to be heard, but slow to sink in. So, what is it going to take? For Penelope, it isn't the approval of others that helps her believe in her own loveliness. It's not any one thing or any one moment in her life that changes her perspective on beauty or idea of herself. Rather, it is the culmination of everything that she has learned, felt, and experienced throughout those lonely twenty-something years that gives her the power to finally break the curse.
One day, one extraordinary day, it all just kind of clicks. She takes an honest look at herself and for the first time thinks, 'I am beautiful. I am enough.'
Searching for simplicity.
Being twenty-something in 2013 is both a blessing and a curse.
We have more freedom than generations before us could ever dream of. Our choices—of what we want to do, who we want to spend our time with, where we want to travel—are endless. If we work hard enough, we can do anything. That's what we're told, at least.
But at what point does it begin to be too much for us to handle? Does there ever come a breaking point?
All of the opportunities are exciting at first. We feel as if the sky is the limit, and the last thing we want to do is settle for ordinary. More goals, better goals. Striving to be a well-rounded person—cultured, accomplished, well-read, intelligent, multi-skilled, physically fit, and of course, well-balanced—for the sake of feeling worthy. Worthy of success, happiness, admiration, and self-respect.
The bounty of options that we carry around with us on a daily basis quickly becomes a heavy load to bear, and before long, we're stumbling beneath the weight of it all. Too many choices add to the clutter of our lives and breed indecisiveness; it becomes noise in the background, a distraction from something bigger.
What do I want my sole mission to be?
It's a sort of catch-22, this sense of freedom we have. Limits upset us, but limitlessness bogs us down. The best thing about this life is the very thing that can leave us feeling trapped.
At the beginning of the year, I made a pretty hefty list of resolutions for 2013, and it's growing every day. I keep several to-do lists, and I'm always looking for more projects to throw myself into... Which is probably why I never finish half of the things I start. My mind is constantly reeling, always in a state of restlessness. Interesting, challenging, fleeting, exhausting.
Sometimes, above all else, I crave simplicity. The choice to remove myself from all of the clutter. But I'm not even sure I'd know where to begin.
Being twenty-something in 2013 is both a blessing and a curse.
Because I need a coffee break.
Drinking: a Chocolate Coffee from Kerbey Lane Café. Just coffee, steamed chocolate milk, and whipped cream... So good on a cold day like today.
Loving: the fact that my reporting class is meeting at KLC for lunch today instead of having Wednesday lab. My professor couldn't be more awesome.
Reading: Four Days in November by Vincent Bugliosi, for my Kennedy Assassination class. Even though I'm not the biggest fan of nonfiction, it reads like a very detailed narrative. I think I like it so far. However, I still can't wait to dive into this novel, which has been sitting on my bedside table for the past few weeks. But I have exactly one month until my summer officially begins (and I can read whatever I want)!
Stressing over: I think the more appropriate question is, what am I not stressing over? Let's see... class presentation on Friday, my final news story, an English research paper, and class registration for the fall. April is going to fly by with all of this (and more) ahead of me.
Thankful for: long walks and good talks with close friends, coffee breaks, & having worthwhile things to keep me busy.
Listening to: "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. It makes my heart melt every time.
Learning: to be patient, to be present in the everyday.
And a little bonus fun fact: I'm dying to travel. (Honestly, when has this not been the case?) Now that I'm approaching a whole year since I studied in the UK, I'm once again craving the adventure and excitement of exploring a new place. Perhaps this summer will present a few opportunities.
"Currently" post idea from Lovely Little Things.
Easter.
Every year, even during one of the most stressful months as a student (I'm looking at you, April), the mood surrounding the Easter holiday is always so peaceful. It's quiet and reflective, simple and slow. Good barbecue, lots of little ones, cool winds, family walks on farm roads, blackberry wine, and long naps were what this particular Easter was made of.
The Roaring Twenties.
I gave an informative presentation yesterday in my communications class over the style and fashion of the 1920s... And now I can't stop obsessing over the fabulously frivolous era. Remembered for the advent of jazz, the rise of the automobile, and the reign of the "flapper," the Roaring Twenties must have been an exciting time to be alive.
It seems I've caught a case of the Golden Age Syndrome.
It seems I've caught a case of the Golden Age Syndrome.
P.S. Who's ready for this film to finally come out?
Just peachy.
Highlights of my spring weekend in sunny Atlanta, Georgia (in no particular order): Meeting The Vampire Diaries heartthrob Ian Somerhalder. Delicious crab cake sandwiches and a giant breakfast omelette. Catching up with cousin Alyssa over Ginger Drops. Touring CNN Headquarters. An unexpected kiss on the cheek from Trent Ford. And several big hugs from the cutest little boy I ever did see.
Spring Break '13 was one I won't soon forget.
On books and movies.
I've been dying to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower ever since it came out in theaters last September. I originally planned on seeing it with a group of friends for my birthday, but those plans never played out. I almost convinced Jason to take me to see it on Thanksgiving—again, due to a busy schedule, it just didn't happen. Which is why I was ecstatic when my friend let me borrow his copy to watch over spring break. I couldn't wait to spend a few hours vicariously reliving all of the fun and frustration of high school with the film's young, vibrant trio. And there's clearly an uplifting message, too! If I'm being real with you, the trailer is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Take a look:
Chills, I tell you. Chills.
I was so close to diving in last night—at eleven o'clock, I was in bed with my comfy PJs on, my computer fully charged and ready to go—when I had a very unfortunate thought: If the movie is as good as I think it will be, the book must be absolutely amazing.
Why was that particular revelation so disappointing, you may ask? Well, here's the thing. I have a very hard time reading books after I've watched their onscreen counterparts. For example, I trudged slowly (and somewhat painfully) through the first five Harry Potter books in the 10th grade because I had seen the films multiple times and already knew what was going to happen...but I gobbled up the sixth and seventh books with fervor, never knowing what to expect. During my first few months of college, I saw Water for Elephants in theaters and loved it, but when I tried to pick up the novel, I spent nearly six months reading a few pages here and there until I finally decided to put it down for good. Last year, I gave into seeing The Hunger Games with a few friends before getting halfway through the first novel, which is probably why the second book turned out to be my favorite. Without trying to sound like a complete snob, reading a good novel is simply not the same experience when I've already seen the story brought to life by Hollywood. That's their imagination at play, not mine—and I have hard time separating those images from my mind's eye when I'm reading. Plus, who wants to have the most riveting parts of a novel given away before they get their hands on it? In order to avoid such disappointment, I've learned to either read the novel first or not read it at all.
I will say, however, that I really look forward to watching movies after I've read their corresponding novels, partly due to my curiosity (but mostly because of my love for the big screen). In that case, the movie can't possibly "ruin" the novel for me, because the novel has already been read and relished. Unlike most readers, I don't judge movies based on how closely they resemble the book. The way I see it, if a movie can stand alone and shine, it doesn't necessarily need to be identical to its inspiration. What are your thoughts on this? (You'd be surprised by the strong opinions I've heard before.)
Anyway, I'm sure you can understand my current predicament, however ridiculous it may be: If I watch Perks now, I won't be able to read the novel and fully enjoy it... And I really don't want to miss out on a great read. On the other hand, if I wait, I can look forward to reading the novel sans spoilers... But I'm not sure when I'll have time to read it, and the wait to watch the movie is killing me! Decisions, decisions. (Ahem, first world pains.) Is there anyone out there who's read the book and seen the movie? What do you suggest?
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